Brian and Carrie met in 2006 in Montreal Canada where Brian was giving a two day seminar on a certification process he had founded. It turned out that Carrie worked for the company that hired Brian. That’s how they met for the first time. They never spoke again until 3 years later when Brian had a near death experience which prompted him to reveal his feelings to Carrie via a phone call. After that they connected and have been together ever since.
1. Self-awareness is the panacea
Self-awareness is the thing that allows everything else to work well. It helps someone discern between ego and intuition. Intuition is a gift but one has to access it. People have ego roles that play in their minds. Sometimes a fraction of a person's ego speaks and that person mistakes it for intuition. The message sent by the ego normally does not serve a meaningful purpose to the person's life but being self-aware helps a person differentiate between ego and intuition. Self-awareness is a skill that people can acquire.
2. Learn your language
There are several different voices in a person's head. Sometimes the voices are recurrent telling us a message which is mostly negative. Carl Jung the father of modern day psychology said unless people make the unconscious mind conscious it will direct their actions and they will call it fate. The unconscious mind will direct our actions and people will call it fate. People will start believing the story that the voice says and all their actions and behaviors will align around that story. Most will call it destiny. Essentially people will be talking themselves out of their habits, relationships and financial success. The way to increase self-awareness is to become intimate with the language.
3. Count your wins
This is essentially stepping into the process of looking at things in a person's day that has happened that are moving that person towards their goals. This is not counting gratitude but the things and the steps that has brought that person closer to where he wants to be. A lot research indicate that positive affirmations and counting gratitude can cause a lot more harm than good. This helps program the opposite side of the negative language that surfaces in the person's unconscious mind. Counting the wins as a person change the way the neurons in the mind fire. It changes a person's perspective on how they see themselves and the world at large.
4. Imagine your outcome
People should take time on a daily basis and imagine where they want to be. Mechanisms of anxiety and fear are almost never relayed into immediate threats. They are related to perceived threat which is imagination. More than 40% of a person's days is spent on imagination. People should therefore imagine where they want to be and strive to get there.
5. Review your direction
This is the daily process of reviewing the direction of a person's goal, intentions, where they are going and everyday calling it into mind and reflecting on it in different ways. This could be anything from how a person would feel when they reach a goal, why the person set that goal in the first place, things that have happened in the process of achieving that goal and how far that person has come. It’s the daily reflection of a person's direction. This helps bring the goals to the top of the mind and reconstructs the unconscious mind
6. Routines
Carrie and Brian apply the theory of four steps. When a person's mindset is connected, their goals take care of themselves. A person therefore has to know what they have to do ritualistically every day to maintain a connection. The six things Brian does is he fuels his body with the right food. The second thing he does is he moves. Brian is a competitive power lifter. They go for walks or climbing and it is therapeutic for Brian. The third is his country life. Brian needs to be surrounded with nature all the time. This makes him feel like a part of the universe. He then does the four pillars next. The fifth thing Brian does is learning. Learning gets Brian's synaptic connections going and its make him creative. Lastly he takes actions towards his dream even if it’s a little as 20 minutes.
Carrie on the other hand stays connected when she showers, puts on makeup, gets dressed and when she feels good inside. The next step is touch. Touch is Carrie's major love language and being physically connected with Brian or petting the dogs gives her the energy to take on the day. Connection to people also keeps Carrie's mindset connected. Being in the flow of human connections works for her. The final routine is fifth pillaring where the journal together. Carrie and Brian spend 90 minutes a day immersed in their four pillar process and talking to each other about it. This amplifies the vivid nature of their goals coming to life.
7. Fulfillment
According to Carrie, fulfillment is found when people have a true understanding of self. What drives their actions, where their mindset is, their ability to control their reactions and navigate life as effortlessly as possible. With that understanding comes control which brings everything a person wants.
Fulfillment for Brian is the opposite of stuck. Everyone relates to being stuck and can therefore understand what fulfillment is when it is explained as it being the opposite of stuck. Not everyone relates to being fulfilled but relate to being stuck.
Resources
Buddhas Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom
Connect with Carrie and Brian